A tribute to my church Grandma

Every child should feel loved and special—and the more positive influences on a child’s life, the better. One woman who made my childhood even better was Mrs. Hart, who traded her earthly dwelling for a heavenly one on Wednesday. She was 89 and had been married over 70 years!

Mrs. Hart had a way of making me, and many other kids from church, feel very special. She and Mr. Hart let us sit with them during Sunday night services and occasionally would watch us while our parents would shop for Christmas presents. Somehow, that gift of time and presence added to my sense of worth as a person and also made me look forward to going to church to be with more people who loved me. She was a loving, gentle, sweet, positive Christian woman and a Southern lady, too.

I would try to visit the Harts whenever I was back “home.” In the last couple of years, she and Mr. Hart had a sudden, drastic change when they both fell and had to leave their home and lose their independence. When I visited their new place over Christmas, I had a sweet, grown up, conversation with her as she discussed disappointment in the change of circumstances, being isolated, and dependent on others, and how she was trying to live out her beliefs to be joyful despite the circumstances. This July, my sisters and I visited her in the hospital, where she had ended up after another fall. She was her usual sweet self and we were so glad to have visited her. I didn’t know it would be the last time.

How is my life better from knowing her and from her investment in my life? My childhood was enriched by a feeling of being loved by many . . . my family and then others such as Mr. and Mrs. Hart who adopted us, made us feel special, and gave my parents a break, too.

Mountains are moving!

If you have ever talked to me about my neighborhood in Norfolk, you have probably heard me complain—

--about the drug house with a constant flow of traffic, noise, criminal activity, and trash
--the frat house across the street with loud parties, trash, cars taking all of the parking spots, drugs, an unusually high number of side swiped car, one witnessed drunk driving hit & run, and other such aggravations

I’d coordinated a neighborhood watch, been in contact with our neighborhood police contact, etc. and then this past spring I added to my neighborhood to my prayer list, being reminded of 2 Chronicles 20:12, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."

After living with these situations for four years, here is what has happened in the last few months:
1) The drug dealer was put (back) in jail for a while, and has subsequently gotten a job and an apartment so he no longer lives with his relative on our street and that drug traffic is gone!!
2) The frat boys were kicked out and their house is fixed up and on the market!! No noise, parking problems, trash, and drug deals there anymore.
3) There was a school connected to our street and twice a day a bus would come by and set off our car alarm, the school created traffic for our street, and when we had tried to sell our house, a potential buyer had been turned off by the school’s presence. Well, the school district closed the school to students, so no more buses twice a day, parent traffic, etc.

I had been praying for God to work on my block and he outdid my expectations in ways I had not even imagined!!

My recent reads

What a summer! I have only been home for 10 days all summer, so on my vacations I have read a number of great books!

**** The Shack (friends everywhere have also been reading this)—it’s a brain-bending work of fiction that causes one to look at God in a totally different (yet positive) way. A broken man has a weekend makeover with God in three persons (literally) and God causes him to re-think all of his preconceived and somewhat negative images of God. It causes one to examine a lot of beliefs that are not necessarily directly scriptural, but are part of one’s thinking when “churched.” It also presents a somewhat more inclusive idea of those who will be in heaven; those seeking a relationship with God, although not always/only those who fit into the traditional “Christian” definition.

***** If Jesus Were a Parent—by Naz. Pastor Hal Perkins. A fascinating and inspiring book about having a discipleship plan for children to teach them to listen to God and develop a relationship with him. I really loved this book and found it spiritually motivating and encouraging. He and his wife had a plan—they began praying for their children and determined their overriding goal in parenting was for their children to have authentic relationships with Jesus. The author’s mission was to disciple his children as Jesus would, to develop Christ followers and then disciple makers. He talks about how he developed a relationship with his kids including having a special outing with each of them weekly starting at a young age so that he would trust and talk with him. These weekly dates continued through their teen years and he gives true life examples of the fruit of this in his children’s lives. He also explains how to teach children at a very young age to discern God’s voice, follow His lead in their lives, and pray meaningfully. It was really inspiring and I’m hoping to implement these techniques with my kids. The forward says, “This book is all about helping you understand how to cooperate with God in positively influencing and winning your child’s heart.” For parents, it also gives direction on developing spiritual maturity.

***** Captivating—by John and Stasi Eldridge—discusses a woman’s heart—desire for romance, beauty, and God’s desire for wholeness. It's the sister book to Wild At Heart which was/is sort of a rage at churches for small groups for men. The book talks about core desires of women--to be in an adventure, to be beautiful and to be loved and then all the complications with this while living in a fallen world. The book is a refreshing reminder of Jesus' love and desire for wholeness for us and a relationship with us. There's a chapter about men "arousing Adam" that I found very interesting, too. It basically says every man is wounded and looking for approval, first from his father and then from a woman. "His search for validation is the driving force of his life." On page 151, it says this is the root of most affairs. The book goes on to say that we should validate each other, but our primary validation has to come from God. (It also says that this works both ways--women look to men to meet all their needs instead of God, etc.)

***1/2 How to Listen to God—by Charles Stanley—I had an older (1985) edition. It discusses various ways God speaks to his people today. It is a pretty short book and put together a lot of things I’d heard before, but has affected some of the decisions I’ve made since reading it.

*****+ I’ve also watched Love & Respect seven hour DVD marriage series by Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs—AWESOME! The series humorously explains male and female differences--how God made us different, not good or bad. The essence is that men need respect and women need to feel loved. If this is not happening the couple gets on the crazy cycle and everything starts setting them off spinning. It has caused me to look at male/female interaction differently and explained oh so many things in life. I bought it and am planning to share with all my friends who are interested (let me know!). It’s in book form, too. Info and purchasing info is at: http://www.loveandrespect.com/ I mention this because I couldn’t find it on amazon or half.com when I was looking and one opened set sold on ebay for $20 more than retail!

*** The Mommy Diaries—This is a MOPS book, sent to all MOPS moms this year. It is definitely more like a Chicken Soup book than the Nanny Diaries! It has many brief essays about adventures in motherhood and lessons learned along the way.

*** Focus on the Family’s Growing a Healthy Home edited by Yorkey—an older book with many chapters relating to family /marriage/child raising/health issues.

**** Book: Breathing Grace by Dr. Harry Kraus—uses a medical model to explain grace. I’ve been learning more about grace in my Establishing God’s Peace class (http://www.egpministries.com/) and this totally agreed with that teaching. I have this on CD and have listened to it several times. As Christians, we don’t have to earn God’s favor, we already have it and we can live fully with gratitude to Christ for his sacrifice for us. The book is really a beautiful reminder that we don’t have to have this heaviness over our shoulders, will I be good enough, do enough, etc.—Jesus paid the debt for our sin and our motivation for service is not out of fear, but out of love.

**** The Five Love Languages of Kids by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. This book is a follow up to the best seller book for couples-The Five Love Languages—that is awesome and I like to give as a wedding gift. Anyway, it talks about filling a child’s love tank by understanding how they like love expressed to them, whether by words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, or acts of service. They say that it really isn’t possible to detect your child’s primary love language until they are about five—so express love in all these ways while they’re young and until you find out which way is most meaningful to them. One way to determine their primary love language is just to ask them how they know you (the parent) loves them and see whether they describe presents, time together, things you’ve done for them, etc.

**** A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle—This was the book for Oprah’s online class. He uses a lot of scripture and some Buddhist principles as well, discussing concepts like living in the present, enjoying nature and contemplating it (as Jesus said “see how the lilies grow”), how not to get stressed out, contentment, spiritual oppression (he called it a pain body), not taking life or yourself too seriously, not defining yourself by the role you play, etc. It was very interesting and in some cases presented Biblical truth with a fresh explanation of it that was helpful. I wasn’t in agreement with all of it, but will “cling to what is good.”

***** The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. My college friends who considered me a feminazi will roll on the floor when they hear this title. However, I love this book and am now reading it for the third time (I need lots of reminders!). It is just full of common sense wisdom about how to have harmony in marriage by giving up the desire to always be right, have everything done your way, have the last word, etc. Here’s a typical nugget (p. 55), “Either you hold your tongue and preserve harmony or you speak critically and create a chasm of resentment and resistance.” Like the previous book—it just re-states scripture in another way which is helpful. It also meshes very nicely with the Love & Respect DVD message.

Immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine

This week, I flew three legs of flights from the west coast to the east and, yes, it was the RED EYE. Add to this, that I was taking with me a very active three year old boy and a lap child--32 pounds, but not quite two.

I couldn't sleep the night before the flight, but I got up and read my Bible and read the scripture, that "God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine," and prayed that this would occur for these flights.

We survived the flights! Here are some of the answers to the prayers.

Initially, as an after thought, I asked whether my parents could get a gate pass to help me get the two kids (two backpacks, stroller, and carseat) through security. The ticket agent said she would make an exception and do this for us!! The kids were so wild that it took all three of us adults to look after them and the luggage, but we didn't lose them or the luggage.

There was an extra (free!) seat for Ava on all three legs of the flights, even the 10 p.m.-6 a.m. flight from San Francisco to Dulles which was overbooked. This was particularly amazing. The flight was overbooked, yet there was an extra seat directly across the aisle from our seats, and Eli was able to take it. On the first flight, there was a guy assigned to the seat we needed and he was very gracious to find another spot.

Both children slept soundly during the long, overnight cross country flight. The friendly people next to Eli, kept him covered with a blanket and a pillow under his head. They even gave us their pretzels since we had slept (I had attempted, at least) during the snack times.

Random people helped me carry the carseat when I needed help.

Lesser Known facts about me

I've traveled to 47 states
I've backpacked through and inspected salt plants in Central America
I've worked with uranium
I've worked in a hospital in India
I pitched fastpitch softball (windmill technique and all)
I saw Rick Steves in Rome and got him to autograph my Rick Steves Rome guidebook
I was chased by a cow while hiking in Pakistan
I've snorkeled in Papua New Guinea
I got a parasite in Guatemala (and it wasn't the painless diet plan I'd imagined)
I ran cross country in high school
I've sewn all the window treatments in my house

Cereal Shopping Bargain!!

I had a shopping success this week. Farm Fresh had this special--cheerios and a bunch of other GM cereal was on sale $2 a box and then if you bought 10 boxes you'd get $10 off to make $1 a box. Plus I had about five $.75 to $1 off coupons, so I bought 12 boxes, plus $2 worth of corn and $4 worth of salad dressing. The total for all items? $12.72. The checker was in disbelief and actually pulled the ad to confirm. Basically, I paid about $.50 a box for cereal. I'm totally stocked up now!

Ethnomusicology

This weekend I had an opportunity to hear a Wycliffe missionary couple speak regarding Ethnomusicology with tribal cultures. Their goal is to provide cultures meaningful music to interact with deeper thoughts and emotions (not just translating Western hymns/choruses). To do that they listen/record the local music that appeals to the people then help set scripture to music of that culture so that it will speak to the people’s hearts and truly minister (going along with Wycliffe’s goal of God’s word being accessible to all people in the language of their heart). They evaluate the local resources, instruments, etc. and see what they want to use. In some cases, certain instruments have been used for pagan ceremonies so they contemplate whether to use them, knowing that God can redeem instruments/elements of secular music, etc. They said that music is not the universal language in that it is not universally understood and reactions to it are not the same. They use local language and music traditions, the sounds of which may even seem odd or evil to us, but not to the nationals. He played some music for us—one song was in a minor key and sounded like a dirge, yet the lyrics talked about how it was God who makes them so happy. It seemed so ironic, yet he said that the music really did appeal to the local people and did lift their spirits. I found their talk fascinating and saw some parallels with some of the challenges I have selecting music for my Community Bible Study group trying to make the music and worship meaningful with a group coming from many different backgrounds.